Slow down

Swee Teik & Mei Ying's Wedding Day
Originally uploaded by ~fly~ 飞(Busy)

Ok, I'm sure I'm not the only one who's noticed that men and women have switched roles regarding their views on relationships/marriage over the last 10 yrs or so. It used to be that the men wanted to play the field, many times unbeknownst to their girlfriends and/or wives, until they were ready to be monogamous (which sometimes never made it to the agenda until late in the game) and the women just wanted to settle down with one man, get married and have kids immediately. Nowadays many women are more career driven and sexually empowered so they spend more time working and treating dating as nothing more than a distraction from the stress of their demanding jobs and a lot of men are looking to find Mrs. Right, marry her and have the "American Dream" of the white house with the picket fence, 2.5 kids and a dog. Honestly, with the divorce rate being so high these days, I have to wonder when marriage stopped being a sacred union between 2 people who love each other and started being a business arrangement, a way to avoid child support, or the cure to boredom.
I have close friends who are married, living with their significant other, in a monogamous relationship with someone or single. We all are trying to figure this love/relationship out no matter what stage we are in. My married friends say the union is hard work (which I believe) but they believe the effort is truly worth it. The live-ins work just as hard as the married folks but its "easier" for them to walk away from the situation because they are not legally bound but they are emotionally and calendarically (you like that made up word dont you) invested, not to mention they've grown accustomed to having someone around, so they try to stick it out as well. Come to think of it I dont have many friends who have a boyfriend/girlfriend that they arent living with but the ones I know are generally blissful in their relationships but not sure if they are ready to take the plunge to live together and/or get married. Us single folk who are either playing the field or have put ourselves on the day-to-day injured reserve list (like myself) are just trying to meet a/some people who arent clingy, borderline stalkers or too aloof and unfeeling to the point where its a turn off and we dont want to be bothered.
As I've stated before, I'm a Libra and I crave balance in all aspects of my life...especially something as time consuming as a relationship. I am a fan of compromise but I dont want a yes-man; I'm looking for a man who can bend but at times puts his foot down and lets me know I cant have my way ALL the time. Bottom line: healthy relationships consist of communication, compromise and good old fashion hard work and dedication to your significant other. Slow and steady is the way people...no need to jump out the window on day 2 professing your undying love for someone you just met (which is the beginning of a stream of unhealthy actions). If this person is your soulmate, other half or whatever you wanna call it, you may know it on day 2 and thats cool but if its really real their status and your affection wont change so no need to rush. If its meant to be, they aint going anywhere.

Missed it...I believe

Adult Superstore
Originally uploaded by mag1c3y3

I think I missed my calling. Counseling others on their various life and relationship issues is probably what I should be getting paid to do since I find myself doing it waaaaaayyyy too much. For whatever reason, various friends and family members always seem to find their way to me when they need advice. I guess that makes me a good listener and problem solver. It amazes me that I can listen and look at anothers situation and know the right thing to say to help them think more clearly/rationally about whatever woe(s) they are facing but I cant do the same for myself. I took a poll and apparently I appear to have my ish together (if yall only knew that soooo aint the case).
Going back to school is really not something I even consider as an option; I got all the schooling I planned to get before I got my first real 9-5 job. Honestly, I'm not interested in going back to school to pursue a degree in Psychology or Psychiatry for that matter; I've diagnosed myself with A.D.D. as I do have a hard time staying attentive especially in a lecture setting. So whats a girl to do? I guess for now I will continue to dispense my personal brand of advice/clarity/shoulder-to-cry-on/etc until I either get tired or figure out another, more monetarily beneficial, way to do what I seem to be pretty damn good at.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T - what it means to me

Respect
Originally uploaded by Dinastoria

What does the word respect mean to you? I like to think I treat people the way I want to be treated but I know that's not always the case. You see, a lot of times the level of and manner of respect I have for a person is gauged by the way we were introduced, the way said person carries themselves and the way they treat me and others. Normally if I'm introduced to someone by another person who speaks highly of or talks down about them there is a certain expectation I have due to the reputation that has preceded said person. I do take the time to form my own conclusions but if I hear nothing but good things or a slew of negative things it tends to taint my perception even before I meet the person, especially if I value the source of the information.
Regardless of how I meet a person I always watch and observe their actions, mannerisms and assess their character through actions and words; I am an avid people watcher. Those who know me well can tell you that I absolutely detest fake people; I'm a fan of consistency so if you don't like a person or thing don't pretend you do to appease the masses. Just be true to you and if others don't agree and cant take it then to hell with them....but I digress so let me get back on track. Another pet peeve of mine is when people conduct themselves with a holier-than-thou aire about them. I cant stand for a person to talk down to me or others; I could care less what your status is...we are all equal and on the same level in my eyes. A lot of times I either end up telling these type of people about themselves or I limit/end dealings with them because I refuse to be around that kind of energy because it aggravates me to no end.
I'm a big fan of treating people the way I want to be treated. Any respect or courtesy one receives beyond that is earned through conversation and interaction. And it bothers me a great deal when I see those I care about being disrespected, especially when they are generally respectful of the people they are being disrespected by (something happened recently but I wont speak on it to protect the innocent and refrain from blacking out on the guilty). I'm a fan of keeping the peace but my boiling point is just beyond the border of disrespect, no matter how subtle or blatant.
People in general want to be respected....some would rather be feared but I believe respect gets you further in life. I'm just saying...