Things Men Should Do

This post is the first in a series that I will add to from time to time, when I think of something new for the list.  I hope you enjoy these little jewels I'm about to drop.

PAY ATTENTION TO THE SMALL THINGS

This is extremely important.  The small things let a woman know that you really care about her wants/needs.  Remembering her favorite flowers are daisies and bringing them to her just because, or bringing/making her favorite food when she is sick and shut in are examples of what I'm talking about here. The little things are in the details and the details are MAJOR.  Paying attention to the small things will get you points which will lead to the cookie and lots of it...TRUST.

OPEN DOORS

Every woman wants to feel like a lady when she is out with a man and having a man open doors for her helps that feeling along.  I'm talking opening the car door when she's getting in and upon entering buildings opening the door for her and allowing her to walk ahead of you (which also gives you time to admire her strut; we know you do this and usually add a lil extra because we know you're watching).  When a woman has doors opened for her it not only makes her feel all feminine and what not but it also makes her feel like the dude she's spending time with is somewhat of a gentleman and you def want her to think you are a gentlemen.  Why, you ask? Because it will make her trust and respect you more...which will lead to the cookie.

ASK HER HOW HER DAY WAS AND LISTEN TO THE ANSWER

Ladies love it when the men in their lives take an interest in how their day was, whether it was a good day or a bad one.  Be sincere when you ask and actually listen to what she says about her day.  You dont necessarily have to give feedback (unless she asks for it); sometimes just having someone listen helps.  Being the ear to listen will make her more at ease with you which (say it with me now) will lead to the cookie.

To be continued at a later date and time... 

Complicated Situation

As I was getting ready for work the other morning I was watching Vh1 Soul and the video for a song called "Dealing" by Eric Roberson featuring Lalah Hathaway came on (see video above). The song kind of reminds me of that Shirley Murdock song "As We Lay" in that its about being in a relationship with one person but desiring and carrying on a secret relationship with another person the twist in "Dealings" is that they are asking "Where do we go from here?  What do I do with these feelings?"  Meaning instead of sending this person back to their significant other I'm contemplating pursuing something more with this person.  Now I've never been in this situation per se because I'm not a cheater but I won't deny there has been some mutual attraction with someone who was not my significant other at the time. When there has been recognized mutual chemistry I have done the smart thing and just stayed away from the man at the other end of these affections.

But what if I had given in and indulged my carnal instincts, put my relationship to the side and just went for it? I can guarantee it probably would have felt good at the time but I would have been a guilty adulterous mess after the fact. And I find it hard to believe that if the attraction/chemistry is strong no one else will notice it; there has to be a magnetism in the air. In the video you can see the feelings between Eric and Lalah when they are singing the song but in real life; the way he looks at her while she's singing solo and then the way they look at each other while singing the duet. A lot of times no matter how cool the parties play it there's a certain familiarity or comfort observed when two people have or are sleeping together.  I can't say I blame the boyfriend for reacting the way he did; it was a knee-jerk reaction filled with emotion but I get it.  My beef would be with my significant other first but if the person they cheated on me with knew about me then Houston...we have a problem.

I'm a believer in being faithful and I enjoy being in a monogamous relationship so the idea of going so far as to violate my union and step out with another man is far fetched for me but I know not everyone has the will power I have (I guess that ties into me not wanting to hurt anyone and hence putting others before myself. See that blog here).  Do unto others as you would have them do unto you is a motto that I live by.  I would never want to inflict upon a significant other the pain and scars that result from being cheated on.

So what say you?  Have any of you ever cheated with someone and it grown into a full blown relationship?  Are you still with that person and if not how/why did it end?  Have you ever been cheated on and then your SO left you for the person they cheated with?