The Healer Needs to Learn to Heal Thyself

girl in the glass mirror
Originally uploaded by LuLu Taylor
I recently took a trip to help one of my best friends celebrate her birthday. For the purposes of this blog we'll call her Sheek. There were a bunch of friends and fam who came from out of town to see Sheek but surprisingly we were able to find some alone time to talk. To be clear, Sheek and I haven't had as much quality time as either one of us would like since she became a wife and mother so we have grown to appreciate the time we do get to spend as a duo.


On more than one occasion during the weekend we found ourselves alone through no planning or manuevering of our own. The first time it happened I realized that I couldn't recall the last time it was just the two of us. What I love about Sheek is that she has always been a straight shooter, no sugar no chaser, but that quality isn't always good. She's catching herself a bit more in her approach to her loved ones so there's been a sort of filter slowly appearing over the last few years. She's found a way to say what needs to be said but in a less offensive but equally effective manner.


I confided in Sheek that the lack of direction and never ending question marks surrounding my life sometimes leaves me in a panic (though I usually keep a poker face in public its not always a pretty site when I'm alone). Sheek listened to my woes and offered some words of wisdom. She also pointed out that I spend a great deal of time worrying about and making sure other people are happy and taken care of and many times putting my wants and needs on the back burner; basically that I need to start checking for my own damn self. The funny thing is I never really looked at it from that perspective. I mean, I do recognize that I have a very big heart and I care way too much about other people (sometimes to my own detriment) but I always looked at it like if my loved ones are good then I'm good. Somewhere along the way I forgot to take care of me.


I've been thinking a lot about that conversation between Sheek and I every since and I believe she is right. I need to make the time and put in the effort to take better care of myself mentally, physically and emotionally and I've slowly started to do just that. 2009 was a different kind of year for me; there were some major changes made in my life and I lost some people closest to me (lost as in either cut off or got cut off). The changes were/are necessary for my growth and the loses, though they sting a bit, are probably for the best; their season in my life is up but it may come back around as this thing called life is funny.



New Years Resolutions are not my thing and I usually dont stick to them. I like to find the areas where change or improvement is needed and work towards making those changes when the epiphany hits me no matter the day, month, year, hour, minute or second. 2010 will no doubt bring more change as well as new endeavors for me. I'm looking forward to the time ahead of me...