Just a Weird Night

Boulevard Diner at Night in Worcester, MA
Originally uploaded by Brooklyn Bridge Baby
Bear with me, I'm trying to teach myself how to tell a good story in written form. I do pretty well in the verbal but the written needs a lil help.

When I first moved back home to NJ from FL I discovered that a good girlfriend from high school just so happens to live down the street from me (literally on the same street at the other end). We'll call her Ms. T (as I'm sure there will be mention of her in my blog in the future). Ms. T and I hadnt seen each other in a few years (we did ironically run into each other when I was living in FL and she was in the area doing a summer internship) so we were happy to see each other and I looked forward to hanging out when the opportunity arose.

Ms. T called me one Sunday evening between 8 and 9pm to see what I was up to. I, being the grandma that I am, was getting ready for bed. She told me she was headed to NY to go chill with an old friend and asked me to tag along to entertain his cousin. Now normally I do not do the wing man, tag-along-to-entertain-the-friend/cousin thing AT ALL but, since me and Ms. T go back like recliners I decided to do this solid for her just this once (I did let her know this aint my thing and its a one time deal). She said cool and told me she'd come scoop me up in about 15 minutes. I proceeded to get dressed and waited for her to call and tell me she was outside. The call came thru telling me she was outside and I grabbed my umbrella (it had been raining on and off all day) and left my house.

Her friend lives out in the suburbs somewhere so we had to take some weird way to NY that I'd never been before. He called while we were en route to ask what we were drinking on since all he had in the house was Henny. We asked him to get us the ingredients for some fruity ass girly drink and he agreed. The drive took us longer than expected to reach our destination partly because there was some traffic (it never ceases to amaze me that people cant drive in the rain) and partly because we got a little bit lost. Upon our arrival at his home, we realize ole boy is not there so she calls to find out his 20 (location for those that dont know). He says he's "around the corner" at the liquor store trying to get what we asked for. We said ok cool, hurry back. He casually mentions that his cousin is not with him and isnt answering the phone. Immediately I get pissed because now I want to know why I am there. I could have stayed home and fallen asleep watching TV instead of feeling like the 5th wheel hanging with these two. Here is the start of my foul mood. Now, Ole Boy being the gentleman that he is, says something to the effect of "Its cool, we can just hang out at the crib, the 3 of us and watch a movie while we drink." I really wasnt cool with the idea but since we were so far from home I decided to just roll with it.

So we wait for Ole Boy to come back from the store "around the corner." A ridiculous amount of time passes (I hate waiting on people so anything over 10 mins is a ridiculous amount of time in my eyes) and Ms. T calls Ole Boy back. She asked him what was taking him so long and he said the liquor store he went to first didnt have what we asked for so he went to a 2nd location "in the hood" to get what we requested. From what she told me "the hood" was mad far from his house. So naturally my mood gets worse. I wont tell you how long we ended up waiting for Ole Boy but I will say we were getting ready to pull off and head back to NJ when he finally pulled up.

When Ole Boy pulled up he jumped out of his car and ran up to the drivers side window of Ms. T's car; I guess he sensed we were getting ready to dip on that ass. Anyways, Ole Boy apologizes profusely for having us waiting for so long, and for not having his cousin in tow. Both Ms. T and myself were really not in the mood to chill anymore at that point so she told him we were gonna head out and she'd catch up with him another time. Ole Boy jumped in quickly and said I know you prob dont want to come in my house so why dont you let me take you to a bar "around the corner" to have a drink and adds that his other cousin will be there. Ms. T looked at me to make the decision. I told her it was on her since she was doing the driving. So we end up following Ole Boy to the bar. This bar was not around the corner; more like a 10 minute drive but hey, I'm about to drink for free so I cant complain.

We arrive at the bar and its kinda weird looking. I mean you cant even tell from the outside that its a bar and you have to ring the doorbell and wait for someone to let you in (a friend later told me that this prob means someone was killed and/or brutally assaulted at this establishment). Once we were ushered in by the "doorman" we had to SIGN IN...huh? I've never before in my life had to sign in at a bar so needless to say they got a fake name outta the kid. After everyone is all signed in we went to the end of the bar where Ole Boy's "cousin" is sitting with a few females shooting the shit. Ole Boy introduced me and Ms. T to Cuzo and we exchange pleasantries. Then Ole Boy asks us what we want to drink so he can order it for us. Ms. T and I ordered some fruity girlie drinks and took a seat at the bar to relax. As we sit down, we observed the conversation Cuzo is having about something random and we also notice this one particular female all in his shit, like almost groupie status hanging on his every word. Now dont get me wrong Cuzo is nice looking and all but I immediately knew he wasnt my cup of tea from the conversation he was carrying on (I cant remember the subject matter) so far be it from me to read more into the goings on. Ms. T and I enjoyed our drinks and joined in the conversation here and there.

By the time we finished our drinks, it was about 12:30 and of course I'm hungry. Ole Boy suggests that we go to the diner. At first Ms. T and I declined saying we were just gonna head home so Ole Boy and Cuzo walk us to the car. Me being the smartass I am I said something to Cuzo like "I hope you dont get in trouble with your girl for walking us to the car." He quickly replied that he doesnt have a girl so he's free to do whatever he wants. I gave him the side eye but said nothing more about it. Meanwhile Cuzo and Ole Boy are trying to persuade us to go with them to the diner and have breakfast before we head back to NJ. Again, we politely declined and got into her car. We were sitting there for a bit waiting for Ole Boy to give us directions back to the highway and we decided to take them up on the breakfast offer. Of course waiting on these dudes to round up the troops so we can head out takes forever.

We arrived at the diner and Cuzo was already sitting down at a table in the back. I noticed that Groupie Girl was sitting at the counter by herself. Ms. T and I headed to the bathroom before we went to the table. Upon arrival at the table I noticed there were 6 seats and five of us . Cuzo is sitting at the head of the table, Ole Boy is sitting to his right, the seat to the left of Cuzo is empty and some other Dude is sitting next to that empty seat. The seat at the other head of the table is empty and Ms. T took the seat to Ole Boys right. I start to sit in the seat between Cuzo and Dude when Cuzo stops me and says my homegirl is sitting there. I shrugged it off and went to sit at the other end of the table opposite of Cuzo.

Once I'm seated Groupie Girl comes and sits in the seat next to Cuzo. No biggie; Ms. T and I exchanged a knowing glance. Groupie Girl might not be his girl but we're pretty sure she's going home with him that night. Alas, I cant hate...at least somebody is getting some booty. So naturally random Dude starts chatting me up. Ole Boy forgot to introduce us so I introduced myself and we began some small talk, you know: where you from, where'd you go to school etc. During the conversation I realize that Dude is either high, drunk or a combination. At this point I was starting to get tired so I decided to use my pen and start coloring on my placemat. Dude asked me my name again and then asked if I was ok. I refreshed him on my name and I assured him I was. I never stopped talking to him I was just keeping myself occupied and awake by nultitasking. Then Dude said I'm making him nervous because only crazy people color their placemats. I think to myself "Oh really, you aint seen crazy muthafucker." But I kept my composure because Dude doesnt know me like that and I dont know him. I started to address the crazy comment but stopped myself mid-sentence; this is some random dude who I'm sure I'll never see again so why waste my energy and breathe.

Dude and I continued to talk and he asked me my name again. Now I get aggravated, I mean I know my name isnt the easiest to remember but there's no need to continue to ask me my name especially if you dont have to use it to engage in the conversation we are already having. So I flipped on Dude and said "Son, if you ask me my name one more time..." It caught Dude off guard and he said "Did you just call me son?" Ms. T looked at me with concern because she knows that when I start raising my voice and snapping at folks the fireworks are bound to start soon. I never lost my composure though. I just decided to ignore Dude for the rest of the evening and engaged in convo with Ms T. and Ole Boy.

Our food finally arrived and me being the observant person I am, noticed that Groupie Girl had ordered a lot of damn food. She's a skinny girl but I know there are some fat girls trapped in skinny girls bodies so I really didnt think anything of it until she commented that she wasnt really all that hungry but she wanted to taste the different foods she ordered. She had about 3 different plates in front of her and I just shook my head thinking we are in a recession and this broad just ordered $25 worth of food to taste?!?! Must be nice. After that I noticed that Groupie Girl was saying and doing things to get attention. I guess she hadnt realized she was already going home with Cuzo so there was no need to try to show off to entice him. Her showing off started to disgust me so I decided to ignore her altogether. So at that point I was ignoring half the damn table. Ole Boy and Cuzo were reminiscing on their high school days and the trouble they got into together so I allowed them to entertain me with their teenaged antics.

After we finished eating Ms. T and I decided to roll out since we had a bit of a ride back to Jerz. Needless to say Ole Boy was the only one who walked us to the car since Cuzo was engrossed in Groupie Girl and Dude had nothing left to say since I'd scared him off when I barked on him. Ole Boy was still apologizing about the original cousin being a no call, no show. I told him not to worry about it, the evening wasnt a bust just because his people didnt show up. Ms. T and I rode back to Jerz recapping the night and laughing about the diner events. It was just a weird night overall but hey, I got a good laugh (or 10) out of the experience so who am I to complain. I decided to just chalk the night up as one of those "WTF nights."