I Refuse to Buy Into This....

I am getting tired of the conversations this article about Helena Andrews and her idea that many successful black women are "lonely." First of all there is a difference between being lonely and being alone. Lonely is longing for a/some companion(s) and being alone is just not having a/some companion(s) and being okay with that. A person can actually be completely happy and content being alone; not everyone wants a companion, there are plenty of men and women out there who are content being single for the rest of their lives (or at least they feel that way right now) and there is nothing wrong with that. And contrary to what some believe, there are plenty of people in relationships who are lonely for various reasons. I am a true believer in the idea that you have to love yourself and be happy with you before you can love and be happy WITH someone else.

I am a single*, educated black woman. Call me an optimist, call me an eternal romantic, hell call me naive but I refuse to believe my soul mate is not out there. And I refuse to settle or lower my standards just so I can say I went on a date, have a significant other and/or am not alone. The way I look at it is this: if what you've been doing isnt working for you then you need to try something different. Date outside the race/nationality, move somewhere new, try a dating service, get friends to suggest/introduce you to a potential mate (afterall many times your friends know you better than you know yourself); just step outside your comfort zone and do something you wouldnt normally. You may feel naked and exposed but it just might be liberating and sometimes change is good. Yeah, many try to blame it all on the fact that its a numbers game but guess what: LIFE IS A NUMBERS GAME. You gotta play the hand you're dealt or become the dealer so you can control the hand you get.

There are many sides and opinions to this, I'm just giving my perspective of this article which I believe has some truths but is mostly a bunch of shenanigans.

*Not to put all my business on front street but I'm in a quasi-long distance relationship with someone I care very deeply for. We arent technically in a relationship (YET) so I still count myself in the single category...for now.