Fake It Til I Make It?

I had a conversation a few weeks ago with my cousin. She just had her first child and I was asking her who she'd chosen as godmother. She started off by saying that she takes the godmother role very seriously; its not just a cute title in her eyes. The she proceeded to tell me that she wanted to chose me but she recognizes that I have a plan for my life and she didnt think being godmother to her daughter would fit into my plan. I had to stop and ask her what did she mean by that. She explained that from her point of view I have a calculated step-by-step plan to do certain things in my life. I had to laugh at that because that is the furthest thing from the truth; I've gotten caught up in living life and paying bills and somehow pushed my dreams to the back burner. There is no detailed plan to get me from one step to the next because honestly, I dont know what the next step is. Lately I have been wrestling with my self trying to decide what exactly I want to do with my life. I'm good at so many things (and horribly at so many others) and I'm not sure how to channel that into making a living doing something that I enjoy and that doesnt feel like work. There are many things I want to try but not sure how to get started and there are other things I think I want to do but I'm scared to death of failure or looking like a fool(which I know is the wrong way to look at or go into a situation...I'm working on changing the way I think).
There have been some major changes in my life over the last few months, the biggest being me moving back home to my moms house in NJ from FL. Florida represents my independence; its the place where I got my first apartment and got my first real job. I knew moving back in with my moms was going to be a challenge because I havent lived in the house with her since I was 12 and I've lived alone for the last 5 yrs or so. It has been a humbling experience to say the least. To be perfectly honest, living at home makes me feel I have taken a step back in my adulthood; for the most part this is my own shit playing out in my head. I'm a perfectly capable, almost-29 year old who at one time knew exactly what I was doing, what I wanted and had no problem taking care of myself. And then I got laid off...and part of me feels like I still havent recovered from that devastating blow. I will say though, that being laid off prompted me to start on this journey to figure out what career I want to pursue and the kind of life I want to lead. A little over two years later my always-longing-for-balance ass is still trying to figure it all out. I know that I'm probably harder on myself than I should be but I guess I feel I must hold myself to high expectations because if I dont then no one else will. So I'm gonna keep pushing through these thoughts, emotions and events until I figure it all out. In the meantime, I guess I'll continue to make it look good even though I didnt realize I was hiding my inner battle from others so well...